their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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