I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
