my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize