I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
