i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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