Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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