She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
