We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
