You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
