think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
this boner is exhausting
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
