is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
