Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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