so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
