Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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