girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
