I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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