you win again, gameday.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize