its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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