I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
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