There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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