Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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