He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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