She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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