U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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