That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
