Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Pants are for mortals
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
