Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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