Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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