If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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