Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
