please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
