what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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