she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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