If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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