I think I just saw someone hide a body.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
