peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
