She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
