he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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