So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
