I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I love you. Go after that dick
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
