I want to have your abortion
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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