you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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