8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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