Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
