I cockslap morals
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
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