Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
