he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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