I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
