I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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