Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
