dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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