Do you still have your period?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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