someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
