only you would photoshop your dick
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
