We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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