Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize