I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
