Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
