no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Someone shattered a urinal.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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