Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
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I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
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Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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