Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
