If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
