plz talk dirty to me
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
